Wise Words from a South African


I had the opportunity this week to interview a fascinating woman. Her husband retired from 40+ years of ministry last year, and the two of them have been enjoying retired life magnificently! This particular individual lives in South Africa, and I had the pleasure of interviewing her via Skype (thereby hearing her lovely accent along the way).

I asked her at the very end of our conversational interview to give me three pieces of advice that she would want to impart on lives of young pastor’s wives. She said the following:

  1. Be true yourself
  2. You’re not married to the church, you’re married to a man – don’t let the church come between that (leaving room for God, of course.)
  3. Get help – don’t suffer alone, don’t bottle stuff inside, find someone who you can talk to who is safe.

Wise words coming from a woman who has seen decades of ministry and is still very much in love with her husband and the Church. Looking over this list of three, it seems to me these words ring true for many. Are you living your life in such a way that is true to yourself? Are your relationships aligned in appropriate priority? Do you have someone in your life who you trust; who is a safe person for you to turn to and lean on for support?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, I urge you to take the time to pause and reflect on the reasons why. If you need someone to help you with processing or figuring out next steps, please let me know.


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